September 4th, 2009 • Ross Martin

Andy Payor's Super Secret Sonic Bunker

My friend Todd took me to meet his friend, Andy Payor, in Maine. We found Andy crouched behind his motherboard, deep in his subterranean, sonic bunker. Every wall is triple-sheathed, laser-trimmed, 20 inches thick. The ceiling is steel.

Much of what Andy told us is top secret (who hires him, what they ask him to do, etc). For now, I'm not allowed to reveal most of it. Andy's the Dean Kamen of custom loudspeakers and turntables, having invented about 20 different types of speakers since 1982. These two are called "Arrakis":

They weigh 915 lbs–each. You need a hydraulic lift to put them together. Who besides Shaq are these fit for?

Andy Payor Shows SomethingBurning.com His New Custom Loudspeakers from Ross Martin on Vimeo.

His turntables are famous, too. Here's one:

Andy let us take his newly designed speakers for a ride with some Rimsky-Korsakov. As Todd put it, they fire so much information at you at once, you enter a state of intense focus, a serene cerebral trance.

Then we listened to some Malcolm Arnold. Andy made a point about how the iPod generation can't get remotely close enough to the artists they love because their music is so oversimplified, compressed into handheld devices. Listening to songs on Andy's speakers, you feel closer to what the artists are trying to communicate. You even notice engineering errors and musical mistakes.

We listened to Warren Zevon's posthumous album, "The Wind," starting with "Please Stay," then "Knockin' on Heaven's Door." Andy turned it up to 20 and popped in some Booker T. Amazing snare drum pops; and when the organ jumps, it's sick.

Andy offered us a bottle of Coturri Pinot. "Tastes like a fresh picked tomato sitting on the windowsill smells like from 3 feet away in July, begging to be cut open and used," he said. "Wine frees you up to really hear and appreciate the music."

Then he whipped out some Cowboy Junkies, then Hot Tuna with Jack Casady on bass, then… — oh shit, this conference call's ending, I gotta go.