main

News

“Shh Don’t Tell Steve” My Favorite Follow On Twitter

November 13, 2009 — 3

telephone_shhh I feel like there's a series here. I do. I mean, if shitmydadsays can develop a series for CBS inspired by his tweets, which my friends think will fail (but I don't), this is even better and more us. Here are some recent tweets from this guy Steve's roommate. The set-up is that Steve doesn't know his roommate's tweeting his every move. Fake? Yes, but still great... Overheard Steve and BG coming out of his room. Steve: "What? I showered." BG: "Did you use soap?" about 16 hours ago from web Steve on ditching class this semester: "You just say you're not feeling well, they assume you have swine flu, so you're golden." about 18 hours ago from web Steve finally crashed. Place smells like Totino's pizza rolls, Jack Daniels and B.O. I don't know if I can live like this much longer. 7:07 PM Nov 11th from web Here's some from last week... Steve is hitting the gym. Said that he likes to go when the women's yoga class is happening so he can watch it from the treadmill. 2:52 PM Nov 6th from web Steve's room still a mess from Halloween. Air Fresheners hanging and 1/2 filled beer cups makes it smell like a Christmas Tree Lot/Dive bar. 1:33 PM Nov 6th from web And more... Steve's Dad called to tell him that he can't use the emergency credit card to buy stuff from our Liquor Store or to buy Paintball supplies. 5:27 PM Nov 2nd from web Steve apologetic about Saturday. Cleaned up sink, but maintains position that he wasn’t “that bad”. BG maintains Steve was a “jerk…again”. 3:03 PM Nov 2nd from web Steve threw up in our kitchen sink because he thought it would be "rude" to skip line for bathroom. People starting to call it a night. 1:46 AM Nov 1st from web Steve loudly challenging people to a drinking contest. Nobody biting, so he's just doing shots and declaring himself the winner. 1:33 AM Nov 1st from web You can follow shhdonttellsteve on twitter here.

News

We Had A Tiff, Now He’s Got One With Conan O’Brien, But Newark Mayor Cory Booker Is My Friday Follow On Twitter

October 2, 2009 — 2

It's hard not to be inspired by what Newark Mayor Cory Booker's accomplished so far in the city I grew up next to and terrified of. Did you catch Mark Levin's Sundance Channel documentary on Cory last week? Last I remember, Newark's where my grandpa got mugged in the pharmacy he owned.  The new Newark =  tough on crime, community revitalization, Kenneth Cole, public-private partnerships and economic development.  Nice! I follow Cory on Twitter because he's mostly a great twittererer. For example, he recently used Twitter and YouTube to launch a manhunt for a suspect who shot a 4 year-old girl on a playground in Newark: And it worked: The next day, "due to enormous public pressure," the suspect turned himself in. By making his leadership transparent, Cory stands in stark contrast to his predecessors (many of whom have gone to jail after being mayor), keeping us invested in Newark's progress as it struggles to become a safer place and rediscover its old glory. Twitter means the passion -- and the tactics -- of Cory Booker are visible, measureable and real. And he doesn't back down. Like, for example, the thing with Conan O'Brien. You wanna treat Newark as a punchline? Cory punches back: So after further consideration (and some Yom Kippur), I feel badly for getting on Cory about his flirtation with Kenneth Cole, a few weeks ago. It started when Cory began quoting Kenneth Cole on twitter. No one should ever quote Kenneth Cole, he does enough of that on his own stupid bilboards for the last decade. So I had to interject. Here's our exchange, word for word, starting with his tweet: From Cory Booker: Before u judge, walk a mile in the person's shoes, & if u still don't like them, at least your a mile away & have their shoes (via Ken Cole) 8:43 PM From Ross Martin: You're a brilliant guy, @CoryBooker, a true leader. Many of us are already backing you. So you don't need to quote someone like Kenneth Cole 8:52PM From Cory Booker: He is a good friend and a leader in many important causes. Proud of him and proud to quote him. 8:55 PM Then, not hours later, Kenneth Cole himself started following me on twitter. Creepy! Ok, Cory -- I'm sorry I ragged on your friend Ken Cole. Listen, I'll make it up to you. I've been meaning to tell you how much I love the Newark Public Library, which is actually an awesome place. We can go have coffee in the special collections section, which is surprisingly terrific, and talk about doing a reality show. Wait, did you just call me?

News

I’m Following A Flight Attendant

September 18, 2009 — 11

What airline? She won't tell. All I know is that we are going to go for pizza next week, as soon as she lands.  It's Friday, and my Favorite Follow today on twitter is Heather Poole, a flight attendant.

[ME.jpg]

Heather's pretty genius, with a following all her own. Her fans call themselves Laviators, a word that just entered the Urban Dictionary.  Laviators are travelers who take photos of themselves and make music videos in airplane bathrooms.  We could do a whole series of these.  I'm publicly daring Chester French to make a video on one of Heather's flights.

Call them at 617-830-2532 and tell D.A. they gotta do this.

Flying  me 021

One of my favorite sections of Heather's blog, not surprisingly, is Crew Confessions, in which her anonymous colleagues can truly speak their mind about how fucking annoying we all are on their flights.

Some real flight attendants' confessions:

I only give buddy passes to people I hate. Then I can gleefully relish when they get stranded in Senegal for 10 days. – Bob, the singing pilot

My fantasy: I have my wife dress up in a polyester uniform which she has worn for the last 3 days, and has gotten drink stains on. Then she locks me in a dark closet... - Bob

You can’t even touch a stripper – what makes you think you can touch a Stewardess? I’m wearing polyester, my work shoes are strictly for comfort and I like to be in bed by 10pm whenever possible. Which part of “Never poke the Stewardess” do you not comprehend? – Anonymous

A passenger demands a beer. the crew smiles graciously and says “I will be back with your beer Sir”. He then says : “I want it now!” loudly. he replies, “of course sir, I will get it now”. He goes back to the galley. Picks a nice, warm heineken, shakes it, and goes back to the customer with coasters, nuts, and every possible tidbit to make him happy. Seconds later he hears his whole area laughing their heads off. The twat had beer all over his face… Neighbours cracking up next to him telling him to ask politely next time and avoid self-embarrassment. – Anonymous

I once rebooked a woman into a different (read: crappier) seat on a flight because we had difficulties with her reservation and she called me all sorts of names in another language she didn’t think I or my co-worker understood! - Anonymous

Wanna know what my flight attendant fantasy is? A 20 hour layover where we can SLEEP & EAT! – Shelby

News

ShitMyDadSays = My New Favorite Follow On Twitter

September 11, 2009 — 1

You want some motherfuckin genius? Ok, here's some. I follow this guy every day, along with 312,684 other people. Thanks to Jarret McNeill for introducing me to Jordan, a guy who describes himself thusly: "I'm 28. I live with my 73-year-old dad. He is awesome. I just write down shit that he says."

dad

Ok, so Jordam's tiwitter feed consists entirely of shit his dad says to him. And here's the kind of awesome shit his dad says. Please someone animate this. It's just too good not to... "Why the fuck would I want to live to 100? I'm 73 and shit's starting to get boring. By the way, there's no money left when I go, just fyi." 'You don't know shit, and you're not shit. Don't take that the wrong way, that was meant to cheer you up." "Here's a strawberry, sorry for farting near you...Hey! Either take the strawberry and stop bitching, or no strawberry, that's the deal." "The worst thing you can be is a liar....Okay fine, yes, the worst thing you can be is a Nazi, but THEN, number two is liar. Nazi 1, Liar 2" "Who in the fuck is tila tequila? Is she a stripper?...That's her? Yeah, that's a stripper, son, I don't give a shit what you say." "Everybody loves that Da Vinci code book. Bullshit, it sucks. I read it. It's for all the dummies." "I'm having a Makers Mark, you want one? What? 7up? I ain't mixing fucking makers with 7up. Might as well put a lil' fucking umbrella in it" "What are you listening to?...I know who Hall & Oates are god dammit. It's the mustache guy and the gay man." "I just did an hour on the gym machine. I'm sweaty and I have to shit. Where's my fannypack, this workout is over." (watching the Little League World Series) "These kids are all fat. I remember when you were in little league.... You were fat." "Who is this woman?....Kate Beckinsale? Well, you can tell Kate Beckinsale she sucks."

News

New Favorite Follow: @chrisbrogan

July 31, 2009 — 3

It's hard to find anybody better (not counting celebs who hire twitter teams) at navigating online communities than Chris Brogan. He's grown a legion of followers into a kinetic network that engages with him every minute. And he uses it to gather information, spread information and direct digital flow. Chris' blog is pretty incredible, too. I just added it to my blogroll. Chris' posts offer insights and interpretation of social networking trends, and unique visions for the future of digital interaction that someone like me can read, understand...and use. Perhaps that's why so many businesses seem to be hiring Chris to explain the interweb to them. If you're on twitter, you're probably following Chris Brogan already. But if you're not, try him out. Here's Chris at BEA 2009 talking about Trust Agents... PS As always, thanks to Kenny Miller for turing me on to Chris' world. Kenny usually seems to know about this stuff before anybody else.

News

In-N-Out Burger is My New Favorite Follow

July 24, 2009 — 6

GREAT THINGS ABOUT IN-N-OUT BURGER * Best fast food there is * Secret Menu for devotees * Holy shit -- the Bible! (see below) NOT-AS-GOOD THINGS ABOUT IN-N-OUT BURGER * Privately owned and won't franchise * None located East of the Mississippi * I don't work there (yet) My favorite Friday Follow on Twitter today is... @IN_N_OUT_Burger The twitter account is run by former managers who no longer work there but are obsessed, like me.

Bible reference on the bottom of an In-N-Out drink cup
Bible reference on wrapper of an In-N-Out Double-Double
In-N-Out prints discreet references to Bible verses on their paper utensils. The print is small and out of the way, and only contains the book, chapter and verse numbers, not the actual text of the passages. The practice began in the 1980s during Rich Snyder's presidency, a reflection of the beliefs held by the Snyder family:
  • Burger and cheeseburger wrappers
Revelation 3:20—"Behold, I stand at the door, and knock: if any man hear My voice, and open the door, I will come in to him, and will dine with him, and he with Me."
  • Beverage cups and replicas
John 3:16"For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life."
  • Milkshake cups
Proverbs 3:5—"Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding."
  • Double-Double wrapper
Nahum 1:7—"The LORD is good, a strong hold in the day of trouble; and he knoweth them that trust in him."
  • Paper water cups (no longer in use)
John 14:6—"Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me."