My Twitter Attacked By A Colon-Cleansing Spam

October 29, 2009 — 20

At 5pm today, my assistant ran into my office, screaming that my Twitter account was under attack. Attack? Yes. Someone (or some robot) figured out my twitter password and began spamming everyone I know with messages about how much I love a new colon cleansing product. Colon cleansing!

So if you got spammed by me on twitter today, I’m sorry. And to the one assface who sent me hate mail (as if I intentionally spammed you, you dick), I hope your colon rots.

Look at me, I’m getting all belligerent. Maybe I could use a good cleanse. (My wife’s been telling me to do a juice diet.)

The more I poked around about colons on the web, the more I became convinced that people who scrub their colons are happier than the rest of us. They’re free. They’re jubilant. There’s a bounce in their step.


It really was the most unusual feeling. Once that first piece came out I was so happy to fast!! When I saw what was in me, I just wanted it all out. And for the next four days, it came out five or six times a day. Of course the first thing I did was email pictures to my mom. My subject line read, “It’s gross & it’s mine!!”

Would you like to see some pictures of some really happy people?

(WARNING: Don’t click here if you are not prepared for some serious shit, I mean it.)

You have balls, dude.

You clicked to see these photos?

Ok, ready?

I warned you…

Here goes…



See how happy they are? Maybe having my Twitter attacked by colon-cleaners was a sign…


  • Barb

    October 30, 2009 at 3:30 am

    that's freakin NASTY shit! but they do seem happier!

  • tracey hutchs

    January 20, 2010 at 6:32 am

    I couldn’t agree more great stuff here.

  • Connor

    March 21, 2010 at 4:55 pm

    I never liked twitter in the begining but I forced myself(dunno why) to use it and eventually it sort of grew on me. Now? I can’t go without it.

  • Alexander

    March 24, 2010 at 11:07 am

    Try a semi-colon;

  • Shella Quella

    April 7, 2010 at 5:08 am

    hey hey, I dig helping people get healthy! Some call me mad but I keep on keepin on!

  • Direct Cleanse Slim

    May 19, 2015 at 3:09 am

    Hello colleagues, how is everything, and what
    you would like to say regarding this post, in my view its really remarkable designed for me.

  • cotton hoodie

    June 5, 2015 at 8:23 pm

    I’m excited to uncover this site. I want to to thank you for ones time for this fantastic
    read!! I definitely savored every little bit of it and I have you bookmarked to look at new
    information in your blog.


    June 13, 2015 at 4:45 pm

    You are fat in the event tthe excessive physique physique.
    If you follow these simple suggestions when you do your ab
    training routine, you will notice thee improvements. What must ALWAYS
    be followed is tthe below mentality:.

  • abercrombie fitch fierce

    June 25, 2015 at 6:47 am

    Thank you for any other excellent article. Where else could anybody get that kind of information in such a perfect way of writing?
    I have a presentation subsequent week, and I’m at the look for such info.

  • SEO

    June 25, 2015 at 7:21 pm

    Attractive component of content. I simply stumbled upon your
    website and in accession capital to say that I acquire in fact enjoyed account your blog posts.
    Any way I’ll be subscribing to your augment and even I
    success you get admission to constantly quickly.


    June 28, 2015 at 5:08 pm

    Become an interior decorator and transform your living space from ordinary to extraordinary with these unique stickers.
    Beautiful bathroom furnishings and accoutrements are often dreams that folks have as they browse the decor magazines.

    It was even and well suited for that spot in the bathroom.

  • internal audit plan template

    June 29, 2015 at 9:15 am

    There’s certainly a lot to find out about this subject.

    I love all of the points you’ve made.

  • Dermolyte

    July 9, 2015 at 1:17 am

    Hi to all, the contents existing at this web page are
    in fact amazing for people knowledge, well, keep up
    the nice work fellows.

  • exceptional sales rapport

    July 9, 2015 at 4:23 am

    Asking questions are in fact good thing if you are not understanding something entirely, however this
    post gives nice understanding yet.

  • tshirt design online

    July 9, 2015 at 6:51 pm

    Hi, i believe that i noticed you visited my website so i came to return the choose?.I am
    attempting to in finding issues to improve my site!I suppose its ok to make use of
    a few of your ideas!!

  • Page

    July 10, 2015 at 3:33 pm

    I’m curious to find out what blog platform you have been utilizing?
    I’m having some minor security issues with my latest website and I would
    like to find something more safe. Do you have any recommendations?

  • Unison League Hack

    July 14, 2015 at 3:53 pm

    For most recent information you have to pay a visit world-wide-web
    and on world-wide-web I found this site as a finest site
    for most recent updates.

  • sarm s-4

    August 15, 2015 at 5:27 am

    In simple terms the ostarine will tell your body to use much more testosterone then it would in a normal state.

Leave a Reply to Anonymous

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *