“Shh Don’t Tell Steve” My Favorite Follow On Twitter

November 13, 2009 — 3


I feel like there’s a series here. I do.

I mean, if shitmydadsays can develop a series for CBS inspired by his tweets, which my friends think will fail (but I don’t), this is even better and more us.

Here are some recent tweets from this guy Steve’s roommate. The set-up is that Steve doesn’t know his roommate’s tweeting his every move. Fake? Yes, but still great…

Overheard Steve and BG coming out of his room. Steve: “What? I showered.” BG: “Did you use soap?”
about 16 hours ago from web

Steve on ditching class this semester: “You just say you’re not feeling well, they assume you have swine flu, so you’re golden.”
about 18 hours ago from web

Steve finally crashed. Place smells like Totino’s pizza rolls, Jack Daniels and B.O. I don’t know if I can live like this much longer.
7:07 PM Nov 11th from web

Here’s some from last week…

Steve is hitting the gym. Said that he likes to go when the women’s yoga class is happening so he can watch it from the treadmill.
2:52 PM Nov 6th from web

Steve’s room still a mess from Halloween. Air Fresheners hanging and 1/2 filled beer cups makes it smell like a Christmas Tree Lot/Dive bar.
1:33 PM Nov 6th from web

And more…

Steve’s Dad called to tell him that he can’t use the emergency credit card to buy stuff from our Liquor Store or to buy Paintball supplies.
5:27 PM Nov 2nd from web

Steve apologetic about Saturday. Cleaned up sink, but maintains position that he wasn’t “that bad”. BG maintains Steve was a “jerk…again”.
3:03 PM Nov 2nd from web

Steve threw up in our kitchen sink because he thought it would be “rude” to skip line for bathroom. People starting to call it a night.
1:46 AM Nov 1st from web


ShitMyDadSays Gets A TV Deal!

November 11, 2009 — 0

Not for nuthin, but we called this one 2 months ago!

Maxine Shen of the New York Post reports that Justin Halpern, 29, who lives at home with his dad and tweets the hilarious shit his dad says, is developing a series based on his tweets for CBS.

Here’s Justin:


Here’s Justin’s dad:


Max Mutchnick and David Kohan (who I met a few years ago and is the perfect guy for this) will oversee.

If they make this show, I’ll actually Tivo CBS again.  At least once.


ShitMyDadSays = My New Favorite Follow On Twitter

September 11, 2009 — 1

You want some motherfuckin genius? Ok, here’s some. I follow this guy every day, along with 312,684 other people. Thanks to Jarret McNeill for introducing me to Jordan, a guy who describes himself thusly: “I’m 28. I live with my 73-year-old dad. He is awesome. I just write down shit that he says.”


Ok, so Jordam’s tiwitter feed consists entirely of shit his dad says to him. And here’s the kind of awesome shit his dad says. Please someone animate this. It’s just too good not to…

“Why the fuck would I want to live to 100? I’m 73 and shit’s starting to get boring. By the way, there’s no money left when I go, just fyi.”

‘You don’t know shit, and you’re not shit. Don’t take that the wrong way, that was meant to cheer you up.”

“Here’s a strawberry, sorry for farting near you…Hey! Either take the strawberry and stop bitching, or no strawberry, that’s the deal.”

“The worst thing you can be is a liar….Okay fine, yes, the worst thing you can be is a Nazi, but THEN, number two is liar. Nazi 1, Liar 2”

“Who in the fuck is tila tequila? Is she a stripper?…That’s her? Yeah, that’s a stripper, son, I don’t give a shit what you say.”

“Everybody loves that Da Vinci code book. Bullshit, it sucks. I read it. It’s for all the dummies.”

“I’m having a Makers Mark, you want one? What? 7up? I ain’t mixing fucking makers with 7up. Might as well put a lil’ fucking umbrella in it”

“What are you listening to?…I know who Hall & Oates are god dammit. It’s the mustache guy and the gay