The Future Of Swearing, Part 2: In Which A 2 Year-Old On “Modern Family” Curses

January 19, 2012 — 0

Didn’t mean to time my post about “The Future of Swearing” this well, but let’s go with it.  Last night’s much-anticipated Modern Family featured little Lily, just 2 years old, appearing to curse.  ABC bleeped out the word, which wasn’t “fuck,” it was “fudge.” 

Media shitstorms commenced.  Ratings, we’ll see today, jumped.  And, as always, a new academic voice emerged to tell us why this might all be a good sign for our species.

Can we celebrate the awesomeness of mainstream media, for a second?  Two outstandingly funny angles:

First, propped up by Yahoo!, Timothy Jay, a professor at Massachusetts College of Liberal Arts, actually argues that swearing is evidence of our evolution: “A lot of people don’t realize that swearing represents an evolutionary leap, in that it allows us to be verbally aggressive without being physically aggressive,” Jay said.  Yikes, Dr. Jay.

Next, the Associated Press managed to dig up 17 year-old McKay Hatch (awesome name!), who founded an “Anti-Cussing Club” in 2007 (when he was 14!). “Our main goal is to stop this from happening,” said Hatch. “If we don’t, at least ABC knows that people all over the world don’t want to have a 2-year-old saying the ‘F-bomb’ on TV.” Pure genius.

Lastly, in a sign of the intelligent design of the universe, just last week, the Supreme Court took up the issue of profanity on network TV. Good God.

Without further ado, here are the pirated clips of last night’s Modern Family scenes in question:

Clip 1

Clip 2

Clip 3 (the best)

The future of this shit might be closer than we fuckin’ think, bitches.


Amy Doyle On Lady Gaga, Kid Rock, Nicki Minaj & The State Of Music On MTV

November 17, 2010 — 1

The Hollywood Reporter just posted this great interview with my friend and colleague, Amy Doyle, Executive Vice President of Music & Talent for MTV.

MTV removed the words “music television” from its logo earlier this year, but with the not-so-sudden surge in the popularity of music videos (thanks in no small part to YouTube), it’s getting back in the music game. Of course, the Jersey Shore era of the network looks nothing like the early days of nonstop tunes, but MTV has always thrived on the challenges of innovation.

When it comes to making sure its viewers can sing along while simultaneously cringing to the latest “smoosh room” escapades, that task is bestowed upon Amy Doyle, MTV’s executive vice president of music and talent, who’s rolling out a slew of artist-curated programming over the next few weeks, including documentaries by Nicki Minaj (called My Time Now, premiering Nov. 28) and Kid Rock (Kid Rock: Born Free) along with world premieres of videos by My Chemical Romance (“Sing” on Nov. 18) and Bruno Mars (“Grenade” on the 19th). THR spoke with Doyle about the network’s plans moving forward.


THR: Because MTV is so much about reality shows these days, it seems like you would have the hardest job …

Amy Doyle: It’s actually easier, believe it or not, because


Guest Lectured This Week At NYU

March 26, 2010 — 0

I guest lectured an NYU class on the future of media and entertainment on Wednesday. The class was about 50 students from NYU’s Tisch (film/tv/media), Stern (business) and Gallatin (individualized study) schools.

Here’s my profile on RateMyProfessors, with 2 ratings so far.

Posting this comment from a student for my mom to see:

Enjoyed listening to his job description. Powerpoint was amazing, loved the pictures. He made the entire class interesting and fun. Great sense of humor and personality. I’ve never have been so sad to see a guest speaker leave before. Thank you Mr. Martin for coming.

Notice the student did not comment on my hotness. I begged the class to go on and give me “chili peppers” (an indication of a professor’s hotness) — to prove to my wife that I am indeed still hot — but, sadly, nobody felt so moved to do so.

Great class, though. Asked some insightful questions. Most watch Jersey Shore, but none actually know when it’s on (they TiVo it). The whole experience gave me a chance to feel like a college professor again.


Naked At Woodie Awards Rehearsal

December 1, 2009 — 0

The best thing about rehearsing for this year’s Woodie Awards:
Soundcheck for The Dead Weather. Jack White = Pure Genius. (Even though he wouldn’t let me film it.)

The second best thing about rehearsing for this year’s show:
The bike messengers Matt & Kim brought.

Eight messengers followed Matt & Kim on bicycles from Brooklyn to the Roseland Ballroom. The plan was for Diplo to spin a wicked set, then Matt & Kim and the bike messengers would arrive at Roseland, ditch their bikes, blast onto the stage, and the messengers would undress to become a naked chorus.

We are perfectionists, of course, so we just had to rehearse this over and over and over to make sure they were, you know, undressing at the right time and everything….

After their actual performance at the Woodies, Kim (Stolz) caught up with Matt & Kim. Matt got Kim to admit she likes getting naked more than she lets on. Then they talk about the size of Kim’s chest…

Set your tivo — Woodies hit MTV this Friday night, December 4th, at 10pm.


“Shh Don’t Tell Steve” My Favorite Follow On Twitter

November 13, 2009 — 3


I feel like there’s a series here. I do.

I mean, if shitmydadsays can develop a series for CBS inspired by his tweets, which my friends think will fail (but I don’t), this is even better and more us.

Here are some recent tweets from this guy Steve’s roommate. The set-up is that Steve doesn’t know his roommate’s tweeting his every move. Fake? Yes, but still great…

Overheard Steve and BG coming out of his room. Steve: “What? I showered.” BG: “Did you use soap?”
about 16 hours ago from web

Steve on ditching class this semester: “You just say you’re not feeling well, they assume you have swine flu, so you’re golden.”
about 18 hours ago from web

Steve finally crashed. Place smells like Totino’s pizza rolls, Jack Daniels and B.O. I don’t know if I can live like this much longer.
7:07 PM Nov 11th from web

Here’s some from last week…

Steve is hitting the gym. Said that he likes to go when the women’s yoga class is happening so he can watch it from the treadmill.
2:52 PM Nov 6th from web

Steve’s room still a mess from Halloween. Air Fresheners hanging and 1/2 filled beer cups makes it smell like a Christmas Tree Lot/Dive bar.
1:33 PM Nov 6th from web

And more…

Steve’s Dad called to tell him that he can’t use the emergency credit card to buy stuff from our Liquor Store or to buy Paintball supplies.
5:27 PM Nov 2nd from web

Steve apologetic about Saturday. Cleaned up sink, but maintains position that he wasn’t “that bad”. BG maintains Steve was a “jerk…again”.
3:03 PM Nov 2nd from web

Steve threw up in our kitchen sink because he thought it would be “rude” to skip line for bathroom. People starting to call it a night.
1:46 AM Nov 1st from web